How to Write a Security Incident Report

Ombudsman: (to administrator) I need to tell you about some food complaints I have had today. Several of the residents complained about the food. They said they have had turnips three times this week and they are really tired of them. Administrator: I don't think you're qualified to criticise the menus. The dietician is trained to follow the guidelines set by the government. I wish you'd stick to your experience. Ombudsman: But what about the residents' right to have their choices and wishes respected? They could choose not to eat the turnips, but they would really rather have a different choice of vegetables. Administrator: Who are these people? "Many residents have to follow a diet prescribed by their doctor. We can't give them anything that's not on the prescribed menu. Ombudsman: Several residents have complained. I think the ones on special diets are aware that they have to follow certain things, they mainly complain about having the same things over and over again and not having any other choice of vegetables. Administrator: You know that certain residents will complain no matter what we serve them. They want gourmet restaurant service. We're just trying to do the right thing for them and follow the doctor's orders. Once, not too long ago, a farmer planted a turnip on his farm. The turnip grew, and grew, and grew some more until it was enormous. It was the biggest turnip anyone had ever seen! The farmer tried to pull the turnip out of the ground but it wouldn’t move. He pulled and pulled, but it was just too big for one man alone. So he called his wife for help. The farmer’s wife took hold of the farmer around his waist. The farmer took hold of the turnip and they pulled and pulled, but could not pull it out of the ground. The turnip was just too big. So the farmer’s wife called her granddaughter to help. The granddaughter took hold of the farmer’s wife around her waist, the farmer’s wife took hold of the farmer, the farmer took hold of the turnip and they all pulled and pulled. But the turnip was just too big and they could not pull it out. So the granddaughter called the dog over to help. The dog took hold of the granddaughter, the granddaughter took hold of the farmer’s wife, the farmer’s wife took hold of the farmer, the farmer took hold of the turnip and they all pulled and pulled and pulled. But still they could not pull the turnip out. So the dog called the cat over to help. The cat took hold of the dog, the dog took hold of the granddaughter, the granddaughter took hold of the farmer’s wife, the farmer’s wife took hold of the farmer, the farmer took hold of the turnip and they all pulled and pulled and pulled. But still they could not pull the turnip out. So the cat called the mouse over to help. The mouse took hold of the cat, the cat took hold of the dog, the dog took hold of the granddaughter, the granddaughter took hold of the farmer’s wife, the farmer’s wife took hold of the farmer and the farmer took hold of the turnip. They all pulled and pulled and pulled some more and finally… out came the turnip and everyone fell over! When they had all dusted themselves down the farmer said thank you to his wife, the farmer’s wife said thank you to her granddaughter, the granddaughter said thank you to the dog, the dog said thank you to the cat and the cat said thank you to the mouse. The farmer said, “I could not have done that without all of you helping me.” The old woman made a wonderful turnip soup to share and everyone was very happy.

Theo

PAHADI